I'm getting the sinking feeling that this blog is dead before I even start it though. I don't have many actions to talk about these days, other than lounging around and being bored out of my mind waiting for school to finish up so I can start living my goddamn life. I miss California. This much I know for sure. But at the same time, I know I might go crazy if I go back right away. The people aren't right. There's only a few people I miss. I haven't finished this novel. I haven't even come close to finishing a book of short stories. And the drugs are starting to consume me though I've been good the last few days. There's something about freezing in your apartment and wanting to sleep but can't because someone is bumping music in the room next to the closet you call your room. I need some better companionship. god. I spent most of today sleeping. It's always horrible to wake up and look outside and see that it's dark out. Have I really become this drug addled?
In my younger days, I remember taking 11 hits of ecstasy and almost dying in my bathroom. Or thinking I might die. I remember I called Teresa feeling very sweaty and sped up and that's really all I can remember. Other than needing companionship in that moment in time too.
Then there were the few times I did half a ball of coke and almost died in my own goddamn bedroom.
I could keep talking about myself in these ways, but now I'm just exaggerating. My mind doesn't feel that slow right now, only last night when I smoked weed and played space games all night. It's a fun thing, playing games based in space. You start to lose your perception of reality. Which is something I need right now. Well, it's something I'm doing anyway.
This is the most depressing post ever. I'm going to go call up Gordon for a drink I think. I still don't have a phone, I apologize.
